No ordinary woman!

"In my life, I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've missed, I've hurt, I've trusted, I've made mistakes, but most of all, I've learned".

I came across this quote  on Twitter, my new source of inspiration it seems. There was no indication of who said it but it was obviously someone who's living or has lived, a very full life. I know for sure that I can relate to 7 of these actions and I'm hopeful that I have and still am 'learning'. 

Perhaps the fact that it wasn't attributed to anyone in particular means that it was written or spoken by an 'ordinary' person. someone just like me who, to date at least, has never done anything exceptional and is only 'famous' to family and friends.

I've recently finished reading 'Diary of an Ordinary Woman', by Margaret Forster. It was recommended to me by a friend who has watched me transform from a 'couch potato' thinking that at 50+ with health problems that all I was capable of was 'taking things easy', watching TV, reading, socialising and participating in a Movement and Mobility class, where the average age was 60, into someone who doesn't even have time to watch her favourite TV shows! Oh and who does Zumba and Street Dance, (at least I turn up each week and have a go).

"Democracy is based upon the conviction that there are extraordinary possibilities in ordinary people".

Once upon a time I might have read this and dismissed it as pretentious tosh, something that didn't have any bearing on my life. Reading Margaret Forster's book made me see that this can be true. On the face of it the plot of a book based on the diary of a women from being a teenager until she passed away in her 80's, doesn't seem like one that would grab me. I'm a Lee Child, John Grisham James Patterson type of girl. But from the moment I opened the book and started to read, I was gripped.

The character in the book reminded me of myself as a teenager. She complained at having to look after her younger siblings, something I could certainly relate too, being the eldest of 5 children. She voiced the resentments that had boiled inside of me but was too afraid to acknowledge thinking that people would think of me as a terrible person for feeling this way. In fact allowing people to see that I'm not perfect has made me more friends! Everybody makes mistakes, it's how we deal and learn from them that makes the biggest difference.

During her life this 'ordinary woman' worked as a Social worker, drove an ambulance during World War Two and even worked at Bletchley Park helping to break enemy codes, a vital service in helping to win the war. Then tragedy struck and she had to step in and become 'mother' to her niece and nephew when their mother, father and elder siblings were killed during a bombing raid over London. Suddenly this woman who had resented looking after her siblings as a child was thrust into motherhood, a role she embraced with the same vigour that she attacked her other roles. Eventually she took part in the human circle that surrounded Greenham Common in 1983.

What a life for an 'ordinary woman'!

Now I haven't done anything as amazing as this woman, but I know that I have been able to help people in the past. I also know that as long as I live I want to keep on 'trying to make a difference'. Simple acts of kindness, especially to strangers, can really make a difference.

Take time to speak to the old lady that you see each day or the young mum pushing her baby in her buggy.

 Smile at the old man on the bus with the food stains on his tie.

We are all 'Jock Tamsin's bairns' as my granny would have said. Being kind costs nothing, but it could make a difference to the lonely person that you just made feel worth while.

A very special lady who was a neighbour of mine died recently and her husband thanked me for being a good neighbour. I'd be proud to have that inscribed on my tomb stone.

Just because we may not do anything worthy of winning a Nobel prize doesn't mean that we can't make a difference. It seems to me that it's the everyday actions of 'ordinary' people that keeps the world turning. If we all do whatever it is that we are good at and try to be kind to each other, imagine what an amazing place this world would be. By being the best we can be as an 'ordinary woman/man', together we could make this world a much better place to live in.



  

A day in the 'glamorous' life of an author.

Yesterday I had the privilege of not only going to the official book launch of Brightness of Stars, but I also travelled there and back with the 'Lovely Lisa, her fiancé Stephen and ''Bezzie Mate' Kirsten.

I arrived at Lisa's house to find her frantically trying to finish of some work before we had to leave. Before we'd even left for the book launch, Lisa was already trying to prepare for the next couple of projects that she had lined up. But being the consummate professional that she is we left on time to drive to Hanborough to catch the train to Paddington.

The train arrived on time and a few minutes into the train journey, Lisa was already engaged in conversation with another passenger telling her about the book and inviting her to the launch. While the rest of us relaxed and enjoyed the journey to Paddington, she then spent time preparing her speech.

When we arrived at Paddington our first priority was to find a toilet. Having been to Paddington before, I was confused when Lisa set off in the wrong direction for the public toilets and instead led us upstairs and into the Hilton hotel to use the toilets there. At last, a taste of the glamorous lifestyle of an author! Then the journey continued.

Lisa had warned me that the journey involved a number of train changes and a lot of walking. She wasn't kidding! If my memory serves me right, we went on the Bakerloo line to Baker street where after a quick coffee we jumped on a train to Whitechapel where we changed for a train to New Cross, climbing up and down lots of stairs and escalators. Lisa even managed the impossible and had me running for a train which turned out not be ours.

Slightly later than expected we arrived at Goldsmiths University and were directed up more stairs to the room the book launch was to take place in. We'd only been there about 10-15 minutes when the fire alarm went off and we all had to troop down stairs  and wait for the all clear. There were exams taking place and the feeling was that some silly student had set the alarm off as a prank.

Eventually we were allowed back upstairs again. As if the false alarm wasn't stressful enough for Lisa she received a call to say that one of the speakers was stuck somewhere else, but undeterred she pressed on with the launch. As Tracey clicked away with her camera, Lisa and Pav, one of the contributors in the book, made very emotional, yet excellent speeches, then the young woman who'd been delayed started to speak. Suddenly the fire alarm went off again! I don't know how Lisa felt and her expression wasn't giving much away, but by this time I'd had enough. If this is the glamorous life of an author, I'm not sure I want it!

Another false alarm!

We made our way back into the building again and despite all these interruptions the evening continued and was a great success with Kirsten using some interesting techniques to sell all the raffle tickets.

Time to make the journey home.

At first this looked as if at last things were going our way. The 2 trains that we had to catch back to Paddington were waiting for us and on the second one we were relaxed enough to have a bit of a laugh as Kirsten tried to sell the book to complete strangers and an intervention was attempted on Sarah, (another story). There was a bit of a 'verbal flashmob' going on making the London commuters smile.

 

Then we arrived at Paddington to find that all the trains in the Oxford direction were cancelled! After much discussion involving trying other train routes or crashing on Sarah's sofa, we decided to wait it out and one hour and 5 or 10 minutes later, (although it seemed longer), we were on the train back to our various destinations. Very tired and very hungry as there hadn't been time to grab more than the odd snack all day, including an attempt at eating some dried Mango slices, which I'm planning to use to re-sole a pair of shoes, they were so tough!

Lisa by this time was very quiet and emotional. Who can blame her?

In the end the book launch was a great success, with the right people and organisations being there and Lisa has even been invited to do some work with the Social work department at Goldsmiths. But one thing it definitely wasn't was glamorous!

Well done everybody who attended and made the launch a success.

Lisa is already busy planning the next event in her busy life and she has my utmost admiration.

May-Lupus Awerness Month.

'Systemic lupus erythematosus (ⁱ/sɪˈstɛmɪk ˈluːpəs ˌɛrɪθiːməˈtoʊsəs/), often abbreviated to SLE or lupus, is a systemic autoimmune disease (or autoimmune connective tissue disease) that can affect any part of the body. As occurs in other autoimmune diseases, the immune system attacks the body's cells and tissue, resulting in inflammation and tissue damage.^[1] It is a Type III hypersensitivity

reaction in which antibody-immune complexes precipitate and cause a further immune response.'

 May is Lupus Awareness month. The month when those of us living with Lupus or Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, (SLE for short) try to raise awareness of the condition and even raise money to help researchers trying to find a cure. For those out there who haven't a clue what I'm talking about, Lupus is a condition where the body's immune system fights against itself instead of protecting it. Lupus is the Latin for wolf and just as a wolf has the reputation for being sneaky, so Lupus tends to sneak up on people.

It can flare up at anytime and can potentially attack any of the body's major organs, including the heart, brain, liver and kidneys, amongst other things. Kidney failure and arthritis are the two most common manifestations of Lupus but there are many sufferers who have been affected in more than one part of their body. One of the common features is a Butterfly rash on the face, hence the adoption of the butterfly as the symbol for Lupus. The majority of sufferers are women, but it does affect men and even children too. It can strike you when you least expect it and many people are thought to be Hypochondriacs for many years before they are properly diagnosed. I know I was.

At best us Lupus Warriors get tired very easily, have funny rashes on our bodies and if we go down with an infection, it can take a long time and more than one course of antibiotics for us to be well again. The ironic thing about it is that we often don't look sick and I know from personal experience that there have been times when I've been feeling at my worst when people have commented how well I'm looking, even doctors! If I tried to write about every possible way in which Lupus can affect someone, I'd have to write another 'War and Peace' length blog. What I can write about is how it has affected me personally.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Although there have been times in my life when I've been seriously ill to the point that the doctors told my family that they didn't think that I was going to make it, I haven't been left with any serious on going disability as some of my fellow 'Lupies' have. Lupus has attacked my Autonomic Nervous System, causing me to be unable to eat or drink, not even a sip of water, I became so emaciated that the doctors inserted a tube into the vein leading to the heart in an attempt to get some nutrition into me, which caused a blood clot that would have killed me if it had shifted and entered my heart. I had a stroke which the doctors weren't sure was a result of small blood clots entering the brain or because the Lupus was attacking the nerves in my brain.

I've had flare ups of Rheumatoid Arthritis as well as many, many infections which have led to me being allergic to several antibiotics. Lupus has also caused me to lose two babies and my eldest son had a pacemaker inserted at the age of eleven because of damage done to his heart by Lupus antibodies. I need to take tablets every day and have injections every 3 months.

Yet I still consider myself one of the lucky ones.

The drugs that the doctors use to manage Lupus symptoms are themselves potentially harmful, such as steroids and even some cancer drugs. Lupus not only affects the person suffering from it, but also has an impact on the lives of their families and friends. As yet the doctors don't know what causes it and there is no cure. It can, if your lucky, disappear just as easily as it appeared, or so I'm told.

I know that there are many other conditions and diseases that deserve as much consideration and research as Lupus. But this is May, Lupus Awareness month and I'm hoping that making people aware of how Lupus can affect someone, then if they come across someone living with Lupus they'll be more understanding. I'm praying that one day soon there will be a breakthrough and a cure will at last be found.

(With thanks to the World of Lupus and Atlanta Titus for the Lupus pictures!.