A few years ago, I was on a plane bound for Edinburgh. I was going to attend a reunion with my school friends and was travelling on my own. Sitting next to me was a tall, blond-haired, American gentleman, aged about 40. Shortly after take off, we fell into conversation and what he told me has never left me. In fact, it is probably one of the biggest factors in my deciding to 'get off my backside' and start living.
As we chatted he told me that he was on his way to Gleneagles for a golfing weekend with some friends, also Americans. I remarked that his wife must be very understanding to let him fly all this way, just for the weekend. It was what he said next that has lived with me ever since.
On September 11th, 2001, he was working in one of the Twin Towers when the planes struck. He described to me in detail just what it was like. The noise, the dust, the people screaming and the intense heat. He was lucky. He managed to make his way down the stairs and escaped with very little in the way of injury. 13 of his friends and colleagues weren't so lucky. As you can imagine, this had a profound effect on him.
He told me that, prior to this disaster, he had been a workaholic. His wife and children hardly ever saw him and even when he wasn't at work, he spent very little time with his kids. But after 9/11 he decided that this had to change. Surviving the disaster when so many of his friends had lost their lives, brought home to him just how fragile and precious life is. It also made him realise what's really important in life and for him that was his family.
He took the decision to give up his career as a financier in New York, and move his family to Vermont. There he set up his own business as an accountant. He finishes work at the same time that his kids finish school in order to spend time with them. He told me about how he takes them skiing in Winter and plays basket ball and other sports with them in Summer. He obviously doesn't earn as much as he did in New York. But he and his family are much happier.
Playing golf at Gleneagles was something that he'd always dreamt of doing and now he was fulfilling that dream.
Little did I realise when I left the house that morning that I would meet someone, if only briefly, who would have such a profound effect on me.
It must have taken a lot of courage for him to completely change his life in this way. The memory of what happened will never leave him. But he told me that he tries to life his life for his friends and colleagues that lost theirs that day. That too must take a lot of courage.
Life has been a little difficult of late. But remembering that brief encounter has helped me to realise that I've still got a lot to be thankful for.
'Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.'
I read this quote on Facebook and fell in love with it. I've now adopted it as my new motto and am trying to put it into practice. My website has the title, 'Sunshine after the rain.' I called it this as I started writing my blog when I had not long come out of a difficult period in my life. I've been through many of life's 'storms' and have been content in the past just to congratulate myself on having survived.
I'm not quite as old as Meryl Streep, but I have been aware for some time that life is indeed a gift, and a very precious one at that. But life isn't always easy and it can be hard to keep walking, let alone dancing, when things get tough.
One lesson I've have learned over the years is, that worrying doesn't change anything. It's time and energy wasted; time and energy that could be spent learning to 'dance in the rain.' Now don't get me wrong? I don't mean this literally. You won't see me dancing down the street when I'm going through some crisis or if something sad has happened.
The way I interpret this is, instead of dwelling on the negative side of our situation, we should look for the positives. Sometimes that can be hard, or even seem impossible. Little things like being thankful for those around us who are supporting us, can help to bring a smile and make us feel better, if only for a moment. But our lives are made up of moments and I believe that is what it means to embrace life. To try to make every moment count. I haven't always done that in the past.
This is especially relevant for me at the moment. Easter is fast approaching. But for a long time I dreaded this time of year. My daughter was born on Easter Monday. Easter is the time that Christians celebrate Jesus dying, then rising again to give us a new life. My daughter passed away, 17 days later.
People told me that I should try to remember the happy times. For a long time this seemed to me to be an impossible goal. She was so sick and every one of her 17days seemed to bring a new crisis. But now I remember how happy I was when she was born; the feelings of love that overwhelmed me as I sat beside her incubator, singing little songs I made up, just for her. I can even still feel her tiny hand grasping hold of my index finger and that too makes me smile. We didn't have photographs of her without tubes and wires, but a lovely lady drew this from a photograph, and this too makes me smile.
If only I'd been able to do that sooner.
One of my favourite things is a rainbow. They only appear when the sun comes out after it's been raining. Perhaps if we can bring some sunshine into our dark times, even if it's only a tiny flicker, we might make our own beautiful rainbows, out of our stormy times.
Over the past few years I've been learning to embrace life, but now I'm going to try to learn to dance in the rain too. This year I'm not dreading Easter. After all, Life is a gift.
Photos Isabel's own, apart from:-
Anyone who follows my blog will be well aware of the fact that I'm a Downton Abbey fan and that I'm immensely pleased that Cogges is used as the setting of Yew Tree Farm, the home of Farmer Drewe and his wife, Margi. Having seen Lady Mary and Tom Branson visit the farm in series 4, in series 5, we found out that Farmer Drewe and his wife, were looking after Marigold, the illegitimate daughter of Lady Edith. The filming took place at Cogges over several days and I was lucky enough to be around for some of it. But how do you go about turning a grand Tudor Manor House into a lowly farmer's cottage?
Yew Tree Farm
Having featured in 6 out of 8 episodes of the popular period drama, Yew Tree Farm is now an established part of the Downton Abbey estate. So how do you make this lovely Manor house look like a small farmer's cottage?
Dairy yard before
Dairy yard dressed as Yew Tree Farm
The day before the filming takes place, personnel from Downton's Art Department arrive to transform Cogges into Yew Tree Farm. This is achieved by a combination of set dressing and clever camera work. By only filming a small section of the house, the oldest part, this gives the illusion of it being a small cottage.The technical term for this is 'close filming'. Then with the addition of some milk churns, a mangle and wash tub, plus a child's wooden cart, the dairy yard is transformed into an early 20th century farmer's yard.
The kitchen as it is normally
False sink
Inside, by adding furniture and other bits and pieces, to give the impression that it is a multi-functional living space, the large kitchen is transformed into a lowly farmer's cottage. A settle, an old-fashioned type of sofa, and an armchair are placed either side of the black leaded range. Even a false sink is put against the wall where a large wooden cupboard usually stands.
Cogges kitchen after the transformation.
Using an Ipad, photographs are taken at every stage of the process. This ensures that each object is placed in exactly the same position every time and also helps when it's time to put everything back in its rightful place, when the filming is over. It usually takes about a day to set up for filming and another day to return the house to normal.
Lady Edith and Marigold with the Drewe family
All in all, it's a fascinating process to watch.Unfortunately, we're not allowed to watch the filming itself. But as I'm such a massive Downton fan, I find it quite thrilling just being on site when it's happening, especially if one of the actors says 'hello' on their way to and from the set.
Marigold is now living with her mother up at the big house, so Lady Edith no longer needs to visit the farm. But, as I said at the beginning of the blog, the farm is an established part of the Downton estate. So who knows what might happen in series 6. I can't wait to find out.
Photographs Isabel's own. The photos of Lady Edith, Marigold and the Drewes, are photographs Isabel took of scenes on the television. With grateful thanks to Downton Abbey.
Well it's almost a month since I decided to take my own advice and be kind to myself. The relief I felt at taking the decision to defer from my Open University course for the time being has stayed with me. I did the right thing. It wasn't until I removed that stress factor from my life that I realised how badly I had been affected by it. For a while there, everything I needed to do seemed impossible to achieve. I lost all confidence in my ability to do anything well and was deaf to the assurances of my friends and family that I was indeed a capable adult. What did they know? They weren't the ones who were expected to do it,
Sound familiar?
Rainbow over Cogges
5 weeks on and I'm in a much better place. I'm once more the happy person who smiles and says hello to people I pass in the street. I sing around the house and as I go about my job of feeding the cats at Cogges. I've also stopped snapping at my poor elderly cat who follows me around the house demanding food all the time, despite the fact that there's actually food in her bowl. Now I just play the game of picking up her bowl, waggling a fork around pretending to put food in it, before she'll eat. Bless her.
The funny thing is, I'm just as busy as ever.
In my blog, http://isabelj327.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/when-one-door-closes.html I mentioned that I'd been asked to write a new guidebook for Cogges Manor Farm and to become a Downton Abbey Tour Guide when Cogges opens for the season in March. If I hadn't been taking a break from my studies, I would have had to say no.
Yew Tree Farm
For the past 4 weeks I have been dividing my time between doing research for both. The first week was spent watching DVDs of Downton Abbey, series 4 and 5, and making notes on the scenes filmed at Cogges. I used these notes to plan a tour of Cogges, including any anecdotes and interesting bits of of information about the filming that I know from having been around at the time. I've also been seen walking around the site talking to myself, practising. My first tour is happening at the end of the month when I'll be showing around a group of Japanese Tour Operators. They're visiting the site to see if they think it's worth including on there Downton Abbey Tours. No pressure then. I'll also be using the notes I made on Downton to write a section on the filming at Cogges for the new guidebook.
Old guide book
Doing the research for the guidebook has been a bit more difficult. The new guidebook is going to be a mixture of the old and new. My job has been to edit out the bits that are no longer relevant and write about the new. The old guidebook told the history of the site up until the beginning of the 20th century. I was asked to fill in the gap between then and the present. Unfortunately, there wasn't really much about that time, recorded anywhere. I found bits and pieces from different sources; an old photograph; a reference to a Woman's Land Army volunteer who stayed on as housekeeper. But nothing really concrete enough to write about.
Then I had a breakthrough. I managed to contact a member of the Mawle family, the last family to work it as a dairy farm. Despite her protestations that she didn't know much, what she was able to tell me, put together with the scraps of information I already had, gave me enough material to write about. It was almost like finding the missing pieces of a jigsaw.
I've recently submitted a first draft. I've never done anything like this before and I know that there'll probably be a lot of editing and re-drafting before it'll be ready to send to the printers. But I'm feeling very excited and pleased to have achieved as much as I have.
Now to find my next project.
Photo's Isabel's own apart from:-
Don't be too hard on yourself jpeg, courtesy of:- rawforbeauty.com
Years ago, I made a New Year's resolution to give up up making any New Year's resolutions. This has been one resolution that I've found easy to keep; up until now that is. In my last blog, 'The best laid plans', I included this list of New Year's resolutions that had been shared as a picture on Facebook by Life Coach, Lydia Field. This is a list of resolutions designed to help people to take care of their physical and mental well being. As I read the list I began to realise that, somewhere along the line, I'd forgotten to do just that and as a result had ended up in a situation that was affecting my health. I decided to take on board these resolutions and I can't believe how quickly things have changed for the better.
Having taken our house of the market, life did become a bit less stressful. But, due to my having been in hospital with pneumonia, I was quite badly behind in my Open University studies. In an effort to catch up, I spent every minute reading, or should I say , trying to read. But the more I looked at the words, the less sense they seemed to make and the more convinced I became that I wasn't taking any of it in. The more I tried, the more stressed I became. On top of this, I also found that I was continuing to get out of breath very easily. A visit to the doctor, combined with a chest x-ray, confirmed that my lungs hadn't yet fully recovered from the effects of the pneumonia, and being stressed wasn't helping.
During this time, I had several conversations with my hubby, during which I complained that I felt that doing the course had taken over my life and was preventing me from doing what I really wanted to do, i.e. do more writing and take up the opportunity to become a Downton Abbey tour guide at Cogges, a position that I'd recently been offered. It took several such conversations with my hubby, plus a couple of friends, but I finally took the decision to defer my studies until the Autumn. The relief I felt having made this decision was instantaneous. But this was nothing compared to what happened next.
Lady Mary, Tom and Farmer Drewe at 'Yew Tree farm.
The same day I made this decision, I was invited to a meeting to discuss the Downton Abbey tour guide position and, asked by the Director of Cogges, if I would be interested in helping to write a new guide book for them, as the old one is very out of date. Talk about 'when one door closes...'. Not only will I be able to show people the locations around the site where some of the scenes from series 4 and 5 of Downton Abbey were filmed, Cogges being the location of Yew Tree farm in the drama, but I'm also getting the opportunity to write about the filming for the guide book. I'm currently spending my time watching DVDs of series 4 and 5, as part of my research, and as the doctor has told me that I need to 'take it easy' until my lungs get back to normal, this is just perfect for me at this time.
I also have the date for my first official tour.
I haven't given up on my studies, just decided to take some time out. We still want to sell our house and there are still other ongoing situations which are in themselves stressful. But being able to take control and manage that stress is helping me a lot.
It wasn't an easy decision to make. But I'm really glad that, in the end, I had enough sense to listen to what my body was telling me and take my own advice.
So by:- 'Taking a risk', (no.6), 'being kind to myself', (no.8), and 'letting myself of the hook', (no. 4), I'm, 'able to relax more', (no. 3) and as a result 'keep my sense of humour', (no. 9). I like to think that I was already doing no. 10, and 'appreciating all I have'.
Now to follow no. 7 and 'take my dreams seriously'. That's quite a challenge, but hopefully an enjoyable one. Another step along the path of my New Beginnings.
Acknowledgements.
Timing is everything photo courtesey of:-
http://positiveoutlooksblog.com/
It's never too late courtesy of :- https://www.facebook.com/lessonslearnedinlife/photos/a.109979089073806.15189.109759299095785/915622795176094/?type=1&theater
2014 is about to come to an end. It’s been an amazing year for me. I've paraglided off a 1,700 metre high mountain, performed as part of the chorus for a performance of the Mikado, sang backing vocals on a CD and sung a solo on WOAPA's annual WOAPA day, to name but a few highlights. I also had the anticipation, as well as the stress, of learning the alto part of the Messiah, which I was due perform, along with some of my fellow WOAPA singers in the Royal Albert Hall at the end of November.
In September after 3 years of talking about it, my hubby and I decided to move house. We put our house on the market and it sold for the full asking price to the first person that viewed it. We put an offer on a house we had fallen in love with the next day and it was accepted. We couldn't believe it. It all seemed too good to be true. 2014 was continuing to be one of our best years yet.
But it’s one of life’s funny little peculiarities that things can change in the blink of an eye.
Things were progressing along quite nicely and we were looking to move at the end of November. Then on the 16th October everything began to change. A phone call from the estate agent ended our hopes of moving into our lovely new home. Due to a change in their personal circumstances, the vendors had decided not to sell. The following Monday, our buyer pulled out because of an issue thrown up by a survey they'd had carried out. This was a bit of a blow. But worse was to come as around the same time we heard some distressing news about a member of the family who was battling cancer.
This was devastating and certainly put our problem with the house into perspective. The next few weeks proved to be very stressful. I fell behind in my studies and the ongoing situation with the house didn't help.Then, towards the end of November, I began to feel unwell and ended up in hospital with pneumonia. This came as quite a shock, especially when my doctor told me that stress may have been a contributing factor.
All of a sudden, what had been an amazing year, seemed to be going horribly wrong.
I won't lie. I did go through a phase of feeling sorry for myself, especially when I was in hospital. But then I thought back to the good times I'd had and felt lucky to have had them. This is what life's like. We have good times and we have bad times. I've said in past blogs that the bad times have helped to make me a stronger, hopefully better person. I also reminded myself that I have a choice. I can either choose to let the bad times make me feel down and resentful, or I can choose to remember the good times and use the memories of them to help see me through the bad ones. (See my blog titled 'Golden seams' link below).
But what has this got to do with the list of New Year resolutions at the the beginning of the blog?
When I came across this list on Facebook, I realised that somewhere along the line I'd forgotten how to take care of myself. This might seem selfish. but if we don't look after ourselves, how are we going to be fit enough to look after others? So I'm going to print off this list and put it somewhere that I can see it on a daily basis.
I didn't get to sing the Messiah, but there's always next year. I've learnt that a long as we have our health and the support of family and friends, then life can be an adventure, even if at times things aren't going the way that we'd like them too.
Resolution number 8 says, 'Be kind to yourself,' so we've decided to take our house off the market for the time being. Why put ourselves under undue pressure?
Are there things in your life causing you undue stress? Is there anything that you can do to get rid of it? I challenge you to do so. After all life is short and, at the end of the day, good health is the most important thing any of us can have.
Make 2015 the year you determine to look after yourself. This is one NewYear resolution I intend to keep.
Happy New Year picture courtesy of:- https://www.facebook.com/sungazing1/photos/a.136345136520324.30543.136336876521150/469252649896236/?type=1&theater
Regular readers of my blog will know that I'm a member of WOAPA Adult Singing Group, we hesitate to call ourselves a choir. Over the last three years we've had some great adventures, singing at local beer and music festivals, recording a video for a local farmer and generally just having fun singing. But recently we took part in a project that was so secret, we couldn't even tell those who are nearest and dearest to us.
WOAPA on the day of filming.
Brian and Lou, who run the choir, were approached by the charity Oxfam and asked if WOAPA would be interested in making a video on their behalf. They wanted us to do a special recording of , 'Diggy, diggy hole' a song that a company called Yogcast had made an animated video of for Minecraft . For those of you who, like me, have no idea who Yogcast are, they are a company that record songs and videos to go with video games made by Minecraft. They wanted to present it to Yogcast as way of thanking them for all their support and to let them know how their money had been used to help people.
So it was that on Saturday 25th October, 2014, we all arrived at Cokethorpe school, just outside Witney and made our way to The Shed, Cokethorpes' drama studio. Even before we entered The Shed, the filming started. As I parked my car, I was approached by the cameraman and asked if I would mind reversing out and parking again while he videoed it. Thankfully, that piece of film didn't make the final edit. Parking not being one of my strong points.
Here is a link to the original animated version:-
After an initial briefing by Brian on how the day was going to pan out, including a demonstration on his part of how not to smile inanely if the camera zoomed in for a close-up, which he failed miserably, the sound recording began. After several takes, the sound engineer and Brian, were very pleased with the result and so we broke for lunch, the filming of the video to be done in the afternoon.
Me and my friend Rosie, excited about the recording.
WOAPA is made up of Adults and children of all ages, including some with special needs and these children joined us for the afternoon of filming.To begin with, we were filmed standing in formation and simply singing. Then the fun began. A few of the ladies in the front row were each given a placard which, when read in succession contained a message thanking Yogcast on behalf of Oxfam. These placards were to be lifted up, Mexican wave style to reveal the message. as you can imagine, this was not easily achieved, but eventually the ladies nailed it. But this too didn't make the final edit.
New addition to the singing group
Next three of the older WOAPA boys dressed up, one as a cow, another one as a goat and the third as a bee. They were then placed randomly among the choir and we once again performed the song, desperately trying to keep a straight face. After all what could be more natural than having a cow, goat or bee standing beside you while you're singing? We also had to do a 'take' when we had to mime the actions of digging a hole while singing, which, being the consummate professionals that by this time we'd become, proved to be no problem.
Ladies of a certain age preparing for action.
As in all good videos, there were a couple of other comic bits that didn't make the final cut. For instance, some of the older boys sat around a couple of tables, wearing gold coloured, Viking hats with horns and pretended to look at computer screens. Then every so often on cue they would look at the camera, sing a line of the song, then immediately look away again. This was very funny to watch. but not as funny as when Brian delicately asked for some of the older ladies to come forward and repeat the exercise singing lines of another verse. Somehow I found myself being one of them. But we've since learnt that they are going to be releasing a video of the making of this one, so some of these might make it into that one.
When the cameraman was satisfied that he had enough material to work with, the young woman from Oxfam who'd approached Brian and Lou in the first place,stepped forward and thanked us all. She said that when she was sitting in the meeting and was tasked with finding a choir to record the song, she had no idea that she would find WOAPA. She said that we were phenomenal. We didn't just sing the song as it appears on youtube. Brian had arranged it to include harmonies and though I say it myself, it sounds amazing.
After an exciting day, we all went home, but not before we'd once more been sworn to secrecy. as Oxfam wanted it to be a surprise for Yogcast. With all the secrets I've had to keep this year, Diane's wedding surprise and the recent filming of Downton Abbey at Cogges being two of them, I should apply for a job with MI5. They have now presented the video to Yogcast who were delighted to receive it. They've put it on their vlog, and at the time of writing, it has already been seen by 140,000 people. Oxfam are also using the video to raise money for their current Ebola crisis appeal.
I just want to say a massive thank you to Oxfam for choosing WOAPA to do the video and another one to Brian and Lou for the opportunity to be part of the WOAPA family and being able to be a part of these fantastic experiences.
.jpg)
