Saturday, 5 January 2013

As good as it gets.

I decided a long time ago not to make any New Year resolutions apart from the one not to make any. After all, that's the only one I've ever managed to keep. This was mainly because for a long time I dreaded New Year as, for along time, it seemed that each year only brought more heartache and tragedy. Then when things improved on that I front and I had every reason to be happy at last, I found myself so far at the bottom of the pit of depression that, the prospect of ever escaping from it seemed impossible. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you are extremely lucky and I hope you never do.

During this period when the 'black dog' was  upon me as Winston Churchill used to say, the film 'As Good As It Gets' staring Jack Nicholson was released. I loved this film; I didn't have the same problems as the character in the film, but I completely identified with the sentiment. When I heard him say in the Psychiatrist's office, "what if this is as good as it gets", I thought 'at last someone who understands how I'm feeling'!

I'm so grateful that these days are behind me, at least at this time, after all nothing is ever definite in this life. But I still find that New Year can be a difficult time, especially when I do silly things like watch East Enders where there's always some drama going on at this time of the year. Mind you, Downton Abbey and Wild at Heart weren't exactly a barrel of laughs this year! I'd missed the publicity about Dan Stevens leaving Downton and was totally unprepared for the untimely demise of his character at the end of the Christmas special. Kleenex tissues made a fortune out of me that night!

But this is a new year and writing a blog titled 'New Beginnings' helps me to remember that I am endeavouring to live a positive life and instead of dwelling on the past, I should be concentrating on the future. 2012 was such an amazing year for me, as I've said before who would have imagined that at my age I would be performing at festivals, appearing on tv, taking part in a flashmob and seeing a poem published in the local newspaper! The old me would have been thinking that nothing could top that. Perhaps next year won't be so exciting but the secret to life is taking the rough with the smooth and finding peace and contentment in the small things as well as the big. I'm also very fortunate as my daughter-in-law is due to have our first grandchild at the end of January and what could be more exciting than that! I still think that 'As Good As It Gets' is a brilliant film, but I'm finding that it can be 'A Wonderful Life' too.

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