Thursday, 14 February 2013

Valentine's Day-a day for celebration.

So today is the 14th February-Valentine's day. The day for flowers, chocolates and romantic gestures. It's the celebration of Valentinus who was imprisoned because he ministered to Christians who were persecuted under the Roman Empire and also performed marriage ceremonies for soldiers who were forbidden to marry. This to me shows that it's really a celebration of love overcoming difficult circumstances. Of course nowadays, just like Christmas, it's been taken over by the commercial side of it. Poor husbands and boyfriends are made to feel like failures if they don't act out of character and perform some romantic gesture that is totally unique. Now of course I wouldn't mind if my hubby did manage to surprise me by some extravagant gesture, although it may cause me to check his phone for evidence that he was having an affair, as it would be so out of character! Just kidding, he does try.

But don't you think that real love is about more than buying cards and flowers and paying over the odds for a meal that the day before was half the price just because it's Valentines Day. When my and hubby and I married our vows were the traditional ones where we promised to love, honour and obey, in sickness and in health. My poor hubby has certainly been tested on the sickness one. As anyone with an autoimmune disease like Lupus will know it can make life tough not just for the individual themselves, but also on their family and their partners in particular. Watching someone you love suffering can sometimes be harder than going through it yourself. I'm still a bit shaken up from watching my hubby have a seizure just over a week ago and as he waits for the MRI scan that might or might not give us some answers as to why it happened, I'm experiencing what it must have been like for him every time I ended up in hospital having a Lupus flare. Having someone who's willing to be there for you in the difficult times of life is worth way more than any expensive presents.

But Valentine's day, just like any other special day, can be a difficult day for some. Talking to one of the check out ladies at my local supermarket one Valentine's Day a few years ago I discovered that we had something in common. Both of us had lost our mother's on Valentine's Day. As anyone who has lost someone on a special day knows it changes how you feel about it. Instead of looking forward to it and planning how you're going to spend it, it becomes a day to be got through as best you can. When others are talking excitedly about their plans, you remain quiet not wanting to spoil their fun or be seen as the spectre at the feast. You see flowers not as a romantic gesture, but as a reminder of the wreaths and floral tributes of another, sadder occasion. On Valentine's day I particularly feel for my sisters who had to watch as my mum fought and lost her battle with cancer. What must be going through their minds today, I can only guess at.

In an earlier blog I wrote a poem called 'In Memorium' and I dedicate it in honour of my mum and anyone else who is sadly missed and remembered on this, or any other day.
In Memorium.
Sometimes it's good to take some time
To sit down and reflect
On where you're life is working
And things that you neglect.

Is precious time spent wisely?
Priorities correct.
Chosen with your heart strings
Or with your intellect?

Our time on earth is finite
How much we'll never know.
Yet, we cannot live in fear of
When it's our time to go.

This day I am remembering
Those I've loved and lost.
Especially those too early
At far too high a cost!

Remember life is precious
Our time worth more than gold.
So let us spend it wisely
As our destinies unfold

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