How to pursue your dreams.

In 2008 a very successful tv actor called Tom Chambers won the coveted glitter ball on Strictly Come Dancing. This series has been running for several years now and many famous  people from the world of entertainment and sport have won this coveted trophy. So why am I writing a blog about this celebratory? At the time Tom said in an interview that as a child he had dreamed about performing a Fred Astaire routine and by agreeing to take part in the Strictly process he hoped to come a step nearer to achieving his dream.

Last Saturday night my hubby and I went up to London to see Tom performing in the stage version of Top Hat, performing the role that his idol, Fred Astaire, had originally played. His performance was electric! Technically it was perhaps not as great as that of his co-star, Summer Strallen and the other professional dancers, but what he lacked in technique , he more than made up for in his infectious enjoyment and delight at fulfilling his childhood dream. I left the theatre feeling uplifted and inspired to keep on trying to follow my dreams.

 

 

This was posted on facebook, again by one of my Lupie friends. By Lupie I mean one of my fellow Lupus sufferers, not a crazy person! My reaction on reading this was, WOW, what a challenge. I know that life is never that simple, there will always be things that happen in life that interrupt or block our way in pursuit of our dreams. But maybe, just maybe, if we persist and don't give up, we'll get there in the end.

 

All my life I've wondered about being a writer. About whether I was capable of writing anything that anyone would be interested in reading. If you're reading this, then I've succeeded! But most importantly of all, I'm still pursuing my dream, I'm still trying. How successful I become really doesn't matter. How good at it I become also isn't so important. I once heard an actress say that even if there is only a handful of people in the audience, she still loves performing because that is all she wants to do. If, like Tom Chambers and his dancing, through my writing I can pass on some of the enjoyment I get from writing, then in my book I have achieved my childhood dream.

Whatever your dreams are. Whatever the obstacles in your way. As long as you keep dreaming and trying, then you are living with hope and who knows..........maybe your dreams will come true!  



 

 

 

Tell me why I don't like Mondays!

This title sounds like it could be a good one for a song! Oh wait-I think it is ~. Sorry about that, but I feel the need to do something to cheer me up this morning. I don't normally mind Mondays as a rule. It's sometimes quite refreshing to wake up knowing that there are things that have to be done instead of thinking, hey it's the weekend what shall we do!

I've probably lost most of you by now and I'm not surprised. Basically I'm suffering from the 'jet lag' of the clocks going back this weekend, for the end of British Summer Time.. I fully expected to wake up at my usual time feeling completely refreshed as my body would think that it was an hour later, if you know what I mean.Instead I feel absolutely shattered and completely disorientated.  Whoever decided that it was a good idea to muck about with time, in my opinion,didn't really think it through properly! I reckon the Monday after the clocks change should be declared a public holiday to let us adjust to the new time scale. I'm sure that any parents or even pet owners will know where I'm coming from.

How to you explain to a baby or in my case a cat, that it isn't time to get up and have breakfast yet because someone thought that it was a good idea to change the clocks! It was even weirder on the Sunday to be having dinner when according to your body clock you should be settling down to watch the Antiques Road Show. Mind you, it probably didn't help that my hubby and I had gone up to London on Saturday night to see a show and didn't get home until one am. When you get to a certain age, (I am Flashmob Granny after all), one am in the morning is usually the first of many times that you are getting up for a pee! Sorry if this is to much information, but I'm sure there are those out there who understand.

Now I am actually one of the lucky ones as I don't have a job to go to and can have the luxury of sitting down in a confused haze while my mind and body come to terms with the new timetable. Most people probably couldn't get to sleep last night until the old time, yet had to obey the incessant ring of the alarm clock when it went off this morning at the new time! I expect the sales of coffee will soar this morning as everyone tries to clear their tired, befuddled brains and carry on.

Never mind, let's look on the bright side! In 6 months time we go back to the normal time. Oh no, wait a minute that means that, not only do we have to go through the whole clock changing process again, but to add insult to injury we loose an hour-aaarrrgggghhhhhh! I understand why it has to be done, I just wish that there was a better, less disruptive way of doing it! Perhaps we could just adjust the clocks by 10 minutes every day for 10 days!

I had actually planned to write a glowing blog on how wonderful Tom Chambers was in Top Hat but I think I'll leave that until 'Mrs Grumpy' has gone. Time for another coffee I think.

Flashmob Granny.

P.S. Who spotted the deliberate mistake? It should be 10 minutes for 6 days, not 10! Told you maths wasn't my strong point lol :).



 

This picture was shared on fb by one of my fellow 'Lupies'. I've now made this my new motto! If only I'd come across this earlier what a lot of stress and guilt I could have saved myself! Expecting too much of ourselves is part of a woman's psyche or so we are led to believe. But is this true or just something made up by men so we feel the need to do everything. Or, is it one of those things that one woman first said and the rest of us have been too ashamed to speak up and admit that we can't do everything or even worse, don't want to!

It's not a case of being lazy, it's just simple mathematics. There are only 24 hours in a day,I am only 1 woman and there are a million things that seem to need to be done in a day! Perhaps the reason I didn't get this before is because I was never very good at maths.

There are of course some women out there who have boundless energy and enjoy the buzz of being able to do it all. I'm not now, nor ever have been, one of them. I have one particular friend who is always very busy, she even talks very fast as if she doesn't have time to speak! I often feel quite exhausted just listening to everything that she is doing. I used to beat myself up about it all the time, despite the fact that I live with Lupus a condition that, at the very least makes me tire easily and I know that there are many other women out there living with similar conditions. Even after going through childbirth, which although amazing, is still pretty knackering for a lot of us, we still expect too much of ourselves.

If we take the time to look at those around us, we see that we are all different. Our eyes are different shapes and colours as are our bodies. Mind you I wouldn't complain if all women were automatically born with and could easily maintain, a supermodel figure! Not to mention a world of Brad Pitts or George Clooneys, but I digress! We're not all the same physically so why should we expect to be able to do everything? As long as we are trying our best I reckon that's ok. If, as the picture above says, we all do the best we can with what we have, I personally think the world will be a happier place.

Here endeth today's lesson lol!



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Making the most of life's opportunities!

Last night I was invited to a social gathering in a local hostelry. Now I don't know about you, but at this time of year I'm very reluctant to venture out again after I've closed the curtains and put on the fire. This, coupled with the prospect of walking into a crowded pub on my own, made me very reluctant indeed. But unable to come up with a plausible excuse, I decided I'd go for an hour then make my excuses! So after a quick tidy up I jumped in the car, (I wouldn't even be able to have alcohol) and set off to 'be polite'.

What was the occasion? Who was going to be there? The who was a group of ladies of a certain age, who really ought to know better, who on Wednesdays and Fridays join me in 3/4 of an hour to 1 hour of torture as we try to get our bodies to do things that even 20 years ago would have been a challenge. All under the names of Street Dance and Zumba! Every week we are joined together by huffing and puffing, creaking and squeaking, as we try to keep up with the teacher, who could possibly be one of our daughters. The occasion was to celebrate the fact that the teacher is going off on an adventure for 5 weeks to the far flung corners of the globe. She was celebrating in anticipation of the fun she was going to have. We, the fact that we will have 5 weeks free from pain! In actual fact we'll really miss her as despite the pain, we have a really great time and my bmi has dropped to boot.

As I pushed open the door to the pub, I was greeted by a sea of faces. Everyone seemed to know everyone else and I couldn't see anyone I recognised. After a moment's hesitation wondering if perhaps I should just turn around and go home, I entered this haven of happiness. After scouring the inside in vain I made my way to the back where there was a marquee set up outside. I still couldn't find them. Finally after walking backwards and forwards a couple of times feeling very conspicuous, I spotted the teacher just beside the front door. The other ladies were crammed around a table in the window. As it was very crowded, we all made our way to the marquee and ensconced ourselves in a corner beside one of the heaters.

What followed I can only describe as one of the best nights out I've had. We talked and laughed and as the evening wore on the conversation even got a bit ribald with one of the ladies telling us about her experience on a nudist beach. Suffice it to say that she used words such as well-hung and donkey!!!!!!!!!! Reluctantly at about 11pm, we decided that it was time to go home, it being a 'school night'. With much hugging and promising to do this again, we each went our separate ways.

If I'd obeyed my first instinct, or laziness really, I would have missed out on this wonderful time and the opportunity to get to know these lovely women. It just goes to show how important it is to make the most of the chances that come our way. Don't get me wrong, I've been to my fair share of boring events, but how many great times have I missed out on by not making the effort.

The lesson for today is:- be adventurous and open to the opportunities that come your way. You never know, you might just meet your next best friend or at the very least have a great time.   

Ripping up the past!

When the A150 module website opened in preparation for the start of my course on November 4th,  having buried my head in the sand long enough, I thought that I should at least clear out all my notes from the previous 2 courses I've completed, to make room for more notes! Now, I don't know about you, but my idea of making notes seems to be to copy word for word everything in the text book! Probably not the best way to go about it, especially as I can never read my own writing and end up looking at the original text. I have resolved to try a new method of note taking this time, although what that might be, I've yet to discover.

Consequently I spent a very theraputec morning ripping pages from exercise book after exercise book. what a gloriously liberating experience that was. It felt like I was getting rid of all the stress and anxiety I'd experienced every time I had a TMA to prepare, that's a Tutor Marked Assignment in case you're wondering. I knew that even if I needed to refer to them again I'd probably be better off going back to the text books anyway!

As I ripped and shredded page after page, I got to thinking that, wouldn't it be great if it was as easy as this to get rid of all the things in the past that have caused and may still be causing us stress. No-one goes through life without picking up a lot of baggage along the way. Even if we can physically remove ourselves from a problem, it's not so easy to remove it from our memory. In a previous blog I wrote about 'letting go,. This was more about moving on from emotional pain and loss. But perhaps the same principles apply to other of life's issues. How can it be beneficial to our health and well being to be still carrying the stresses of the past? As I get older I'm trying to see each trial or situation that causes me to be stressed, as an opportunity to learn and grow. Definately a lot easier said than done! sometimes it works, others-well? That's a lesson in itself.

We can't physically rip up the past but we can choose to stop it from stressing us out in the present. Making mistakes and getting into difficult situations is part of the Human Condition. It's what we choose to do about it that matters. So next time something from the past rears its ugly head and threatens your present, why not try mentally ripping it from your mind. Perhaps it might be usefull to unpack it to see if there is a lesson to be learned to help you to avoid making the same mistake again.

I'm certainly going to try! The relief I felt as I put all my old notes in the recycling was fantastic!

 

Flashmob granny

WOAPA cd recording

 

On Saturday 20th October 2012 a momentous occasion, in my opinion, occurred. Approximately 150 adults and children gathered together in the main hall of a local school to record some of their repertoire for a cd. The buzz of excitement in the hall was electric. Looking around at the faces of those present, it was hard to decide who was more excited, the adults or the children. The ages ranged from 4 to 60+. On the stage a table was set up on the left-hand side with the recording equipment and sitting in the chair behind it was the sound engineer tasked with endeavouring to make our amature attempts worthy of the £10 cost of the cd. An awesome responsibility indeed, but he seemed calm as with his headphones on, he played around with the controls.

At last the choir conductor managed to have us all sitting in some kind of order and being reasonably quiet. The young man who is responsible for teaching the kids to sing then led us through a series of warm-up exercises, some of which were hilarious! If I live to be a hundred, I'll never master the art of trilling. for those who are not musically minded, this involves a type of blowing raspberries in a tuneful way and is extremely ticklish!

Finally, drum roll, we were ready to begin recording the first song, 'We Are the World'. Our first attempt was deemed to be too polite and quiet. "It's a Michael Jackson song" said the singing teacher, "let's have some fun with it". The second attempt was met with approval and so we moved on. So the morning progressed, with a mixture of contemporary pop sings being performed along with Christmas songs and songs from musicals.

At one point the adults were told to have a break as the little ones were recording 'I Can sing a rainbow' and a verse of 'We wish you a merry Christmas'. I took the opportunity to have a comfort break and when I returned the entire adult contingent were sitting with tears running down their faces. It was as if there had been some kind of mass hysterical event in my absence. Apparently it was the little ones singing that had reduced them all to tears. I can only hope that the cd will be sold with a box of tissues if this is the effect that it's going to have, especially as one of the songs that the adults are singing is a combination of Sarah McLachan's 'Angel' and 'When she loved me' from Toy Story 2. There has to date, never been a choir practise at which at least one, usually more, choir member has been reduced to tears while singing these songs.

At last, after a long, tiring few hours, we were finished! By professional standards it wasn't very long. But we are not selling ourselves as professional. The whole ethos of the cd is to produce something that mums, dads, granny's and other long-suffering friends and relatives can buy and hear what it is they are sacrificing time with us for. The proceeds of the cd are also being given to the Relay for Life cancer charity as their annual Candles of Hope ceremony had to be cancelled this year due to flooding.

All we need to do now is wait for the sound technician to work his magic and produce a finished product that is worthy of all the hard work of those who run the choir and children's drama workshops.

http://www.witneytv.co.uk/videos/woapa-cd-stars                                                               


Flashmob Granny

P.s. this is the choir who performed the Flashmob!

If it's Monday, it must be wash day!

While my washing machine was doing my washing and the dishwasher was cleaning my dishes, I was quite happily checking my emails and facebook. I was reflecting on how great it was that we have these technologies that make our lives a lot easier. I can still remember the Monday wash days of my childhood, when my mum was almost literally chained to the kitchen sink for the entire day. We had an electric single tub to which a wringer was attached to 'wring out' the excess water from the clothes etc. I particularily remember how heavy the bedding used to be when it was wet. My mum didn't need to go to the gym for a good workout. simply doing the washing was a good enough workout in itself.

It was also extremely dangerous! One day my Mum as well as feeding through a sheet, also fed through her hand! The wringer was electric too so her hand was well and truly caught before anything could be done. Fortunately there was no permanent damage done to her hand but I still have her wedding ring which was permanently left in an elliptical shape. I often think about that when I'm safely loading my machine and turning it on safe in the knowledge that it will wash, rinse and spin my laundry with minimal risk to my safety.

We are so lucky these days to have all these modern devices that leave us the time to do other things, like blogging!We have the freedom to be getting on with other things while some of the household chores are taking care of themselves. I've heard there's even a device that will get on with cleaning the floors all by itself! Note to self, must find out where to get one. But is it just me or does having this freedom of choice just put us under pressure to be doing other things.

You'd think with all these labour-saving devices that we would have more time to relax. but do we relax? I'm sure that I'm not the only woman who feels guilty if she's not rushing around like the proverbial headless chicken. But you know what? When I'm gone no one is going to remember how clean my loo was or how tidy the house. They will remember if I was happy because I wasn't stressed all the time or that I always had time for them when they needed me. The modern woman feels that she should be able to have it all and do it all but when we stop to consider what's really important it may help us to sort out our priorities.

My kids have grown up and are off living their own lives. So why do I feel guilty if I take the time to sit down and read a book or write a blog? If taking time to do things that I enjoy makes me a happier, more relaxed person then why should I feel guilty? If we're happy and at peace with ourselves then those around us will feel the benefit. We'll be easier to be around for a start!

So I won't think of spending 'me time' as being selfish, but as a kindness to my family and friends!There will always be things that have to be done and in my opinion taking time for me should be one of them! In my mum's day washday had to be planned. Now that there is a machine to do the washing lets schedule that time for working on our well-being. After all, in the words of a well known advert, "we're worth it"!

Flashmob Granny.

What happened to my childhood dreams?

As a child I belonged to the St Ninian's Concert Party. This was a drama group for kids aged between 8-16. My debut at the tender age of 8, was singing 'Singing in the Rain' with 4 girls with brollies dancing behind me. To my young mind this was exactly what I should be doing and there was no doubt in my mind that it was what I would always be doing! Over the years I was Cinderella, the Princess in Aladdin and Happy the Dwarf in Snow White, to name a few parts. I absolutely loved it and when asked what I was going to be I always said an actress or a nurse! What happened?

Me as the princess in Aladdin.

My sister and I were blessed with overlapping front teeth. On a visit to the dentist, my mum asked if anything could be done about my teeth. The dentist replied "Why? It's not as if she's going to be an actress or anything!" I can hear your gasps already! What sort of thing is that to say in front of a 12 year old girl. Unfortunately, words seem to have the power to wound. They also have the ability to stay in our memory for a very long time. But somehow it always seems to be the negative words that stick around the longest. Now I'm not saying that this was the only reason that I didn't follow my dream as an adult, but it was certainly one of them. Ironically, if I was a child today I would have been given a brace to correct it.

My sister and I were only 14 months apart in age and people often mistook us for twins. One of the ways that people differentiated between us was by describing my sister as 'the pretty one'. Ouch, even years later that still hurts! Fortunately I'm old enough to know that 'looks aren't everything' and anyway some of the best character actresses are not regularily featured in the top 10 best looking category. But again, to my 12 year old brain, if I couldn't be the leading lady then what was the point.
Actually, the reality is if I had wanted it enough and had been ambitious enough, I probably would have at least tried.

But is it too late? Over the past couple of years I've taken risks and attempted to do not only new things, such as blogging, but also some of the things that I used to enjoy. Now I'm not saying that I want to become famous or take to the West End stage, but it does mean that even at 50+ I can still attempt to pursue my dreams. These may be old dreams resurrected or new ones I've obtained by experiencing life and all it has to offer. I've come to realise that it's not what other people say about us that determines what we achieve, but how we see and feel about ourselves. The old saying "if you don't try you'll never know" is so true.

Last night I went to see an amatuer dramatic group doing Calendar Girls. Most of them were my age or even older. Imagine taking your top off on stage, possibly for the first time, in your sixty\seventies! Well actually I can't lol. They were absolutely brilliant. Who knows, maybe I'll join the drama group or sing another solo at another singing workshop. Whatever I decide it will be something that helps to keep me dreaming. Dreams are not just for the young. They don't have to be highly ambitious or even something that is done in public. As long as it is something that stretches you and makes you happy.

As for nursing! I would have been useless! It's not that I don't care, if anything I care too much. I would probably have spent most of my time crying and ended up an emotional wreck at seeing people suffering. I certainly couldn't have coped with bed pans.

Flashmob Granny.

♥ If you woke and realised this whole year had been a dream, would you do anything different?

♥ If you woke and realised this whole year had been a dream, would you do anything different?

This was posted on my fb page by one of the ladies in a special Lupus support group. I'm not sure if she was thinking of anything specific in her own life that's happened this year. Especially since she just got married 3 weeks ago- I hope she doesn't want to do that differently! Seriously though, this is a question loaded with possibilities.

I'm sure that like me other people can think of things in their life that they would like to change or do differently and not just in the past year! Some people believe in predestination, that is the belief that our lives are mapped out for us before we're even born. Paradoxically they usually also believe that we have the right to make our own choices! Of course there are certain aspects of our lives that we can't do anything about. In my case, like my fb friend, it was being born with Lupus. Because of this there have been things that have happened to me which I'd rather have done without. At the same time there have been times when something horrible has happened to me because of choices that I have made. For example if I hadn't chosen to have another child I wouldn't have gone through the trauma of losing 2 babies. On the other hand I wouldn't have known the joy of having my youngest son. How can I regret making what to some people would have looked like an unwise choice when I have gained so much as a result. I know that it was hard for my family and friends to see me walk through those dark times but anyone who expects to sail through life without any dark times is either very lucky or destined for disappointment.

They say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, (sounds like a cue for a song)! I have to say that in my experience there is certainly a lot of truth in this. Apart from my my life being made richer by having both my sons in it, everything that has happened to me in my life has served to make me who I am today. I feel that I am a more sympathetic person than I was before and also a lot less judgemental. I once read somewhere that there is an old Native American saying that 'you shouldn't judge someone until you have walked a mile in their moccasins'. I've also learnt that no matter what happens I will get through it. I may 'walk with a limp' emotionally as well as perhaps physically, but I will still be walking.

One of the benefits of gaining this type of insight is that it has encouraged me to take chances. This is one of the reasons that I have had the courage to try new things on my 'new beginings' journey. Who new this time last year that I would have taken part in a flashmob or been on telly! I think it's a good exercise to think about what, if anything you would do differently or change if you could. If nothing else it might help you to make better choices in the future. But the past is something that we can't control or change. Dreams are for the future not the past. They are something to aim for and the past can prepare us and give us the tools to pursue our dreams. Anyway, spending time looking back is time wasted in moving forwards.

So instead of thinking about what I would have done differently this year I'm going to finally get round to reading Charles Dicken's Hard Times in preparation for my next Open University module starting in 3 weeks time. Then there's the recording of the cd by the choir I've joined to learn the songs for. Looking back to see what I would have done differently! Who has the time!!!!!!!!!!

 

Flashmob Granny.