The Future is a Blank Page.

"The future is a blank page. That's the best thing. It's also the worst thing. " Adele Sullivan, October 2019. 

Finally, after two years of struggling with my sight, I can see clearly once again. I now just have to wear spectacles for reading. But then again, so do most of my contemporaries. I am a, 'lady of a certain age'  after all.

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about. Two years ago my vision became very blurry, especially when I tried to read or use a computer. A bit of a problem as I was currently in my final year of doing a Bachelor of Arts (Honours) degree, in Humanities, with Classical Studies, which required a great deal of reading, in both books and on the computer. Somehow I managed it and was extremely proud to graduate in October, 2018.

Initially, the doctors thought my problems were due to excessive dryness, caused by my Lupus. But when I developed double vision in my left eye, further investigation revealed that, although my sight was being affected by the dryness, I also had cataracts in both eyes, with the left eye needing surgery as soon as possible. Six months on from this diagnosis, I'm pleased to say that both eyes have been successfully operated on and with the aid of several types of drops and a minor procedure, I can now 'see a future', (forgive the pun).

While I was studying, I had to put on hold my plan to explore whether I could become a serious writer, and it was my intention to pursue this course of action once I'd graduated. But because of the problems I was experiencing with my sight, I've haven't been able to do so; until now. The trouble is, because I haven't written anything more than a Christmas card in over two years, I'd even stopped writing my blog. I've been suffering a crisis of confidence. I even found myself not enjoying reading other people's work as I spent the time convincing myself that I could never write like them. Well of course I can't, because I'm not them.

One evening after a couple of glasses of wine, I posted about my concerns on Facebook. My lovely Facebook friends responded with some very encouraging comments. The quote at the top of this blog page being one of them. This was all very encouraging, although the little voice inside was still whispering away.

But the universe wasn't about to let me get away with it. Since that evening I've been 'visited', like Scrooge, by three 'ghosts'. What do I mean by this?

The first, 'ghost' was in the guise of an author who was speaking at a University of the Third Age, (U3A), meeting I attended. He'd always wanted to be a writer, but had waited until he was 38 years old before starting to write. He said that the only way to become a writer was to simply just start writing.

The second 'ghost' was Julian Fellowes, the writer of Downton Abbey, one of my heroes. I watched an interview in which he said, that people seem to wait for that warm feeling inside to tell them when it's time to start writing. But that doesn't happen, you just need to sit down and start to write. Sound familiar?

Finally, the third 'ghost' was something I saw on a Facebook friend's page, who felt compelled to share a post from Writer's HQ, saying, 'Write your f*****g novel ffs'.  The language may be a bit choice, but I got the message.

So here I am. Writing my first blog post in months. Inside I'm dancing like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas day, because I too am glad to find that it's not too late.  Thanks to Adele, my Facebook friends and the three 'ghosts', I'm going to just get on with it. After all, 'The future is a blank page'.


Photographs and images, Isabel's own.

Isabel Johnstone 2019  ©