This was posted on my fb page by one of the ladies in a special Lupus support group. I'm not sure if she was thinking of anything specific in her own life that's happened this year. Especially since she just got married 3 weeks ago- I hope she doesn't want to do that differently! Seriously though, this is a question loaded with possibilities.
I'm sure that like me other people can think of things in their life that they would like to change or do differently and not just in the past year! Some people believe in predestination, that is the belief that our lives are mapped out for us before we're even born. Paradoxically they usually also believe that we have the right to make our own choices! Of course there are certain aspects of our lives that we can't do anything about. In my case, like my fb friend, it was being born with Lupus. Because of this there have been things that have happened to me which I'd rather have done without. At the same time there have been times when something horrible has happened to me because of choices that I have made. For example if I hadn't chosen to have another child I wouldn't have gone through the trauma of losing 2 babies. On the other hand I wouldn't have known the joy of having my youngest son. How can I regret making what to some people would have looked like an unwise choice when I have gained so much as a result. I know that it was hard for my family and friends to see me walk through those dark times but anyone who expects to sail through life without any dark times is either very lucky or destined for disappointment.
They say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, (sounds like a cue for a song)! I have to say that in my experience there is certainly a lot of truth in this. Apart from my my life being made richer by having both my sons in it, everything that has happened to me in my life has served to make me who I am today. I feel that I am a more sympathetic person than I was before and also a lot less judgemental. I once read somewhere that there is an old Native American saying that 'you shouldn't judge someone until you have walked a mile in their moccasins'. I've also learnt that no matter what happens I will get through it. I may 'walk with a limp' emotionally as well as perhaps physically, but I will still be walking.
One of the benefits of gaining this type of insight is that it has encouraged me to take chances. This is one of the reasons that I have had the courage to try new things on my 'new beginings' journey. Who new this time last year that I would have taken part in a flashmob or been on telly! I think it's a good exercise to think about what, if anything you would do differently or change if you could. If nothing else it might help you to make better choices in the future. But the past is something that we can't control or change. Dreams are for the future not the past. They are something to aim for and the past can prepare us and give us the tools to pursue our dreams. Anyway, spending time looking back is time wasted in moving forwards.
So instead of thinking about what I would have done differently this year I'm going to finally get round to reading Charles Dicken's Hard Times in preparation for my next Open University module starting in 3 weeks time. Then there's the recording of the cd by the choir I've joined to learn the songs for. Looking back to see what I would have done differently! Who has the time!!!!!!!!!!
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